Having Like Minded Companions on the Journey

I had an amazing conversation with my fellow Village Versper tonight until fat droplets broke up our talk and I had to run to the train station. We were discussing the struggle it has been for us being single and not having anyone to relate to in this season. This has been an issue of mine for awhile. I have friends who are either engaged or married; and the conversation isn't to encourage me in the season now but to make me hope and look forward to the next season. But......what do I do now?  I know all the bible verses of waiting on the Lord and being encouraged but to have someone say "I am there too, and it so frustrating!" makes me feel so much better. It's not easy; and I will never lie and say anything about it is. To wait on God when I am so used to taking things into my on hands takes time and a patient God who is working on me daily. And the thing is God knows I can't walk away; I need Him. So what can I say to my fellow single Christians who are waiting patiently/impatiently on the Lord? Continue to wait, and have people who are God minded in your camp. That is so extremely important. Fellow Christians will give you the Godly advice you need that will help you and keep you walking in the right direction: towards Christ. If there is someone who is in your same situation (a fellow single): talk to them. It will feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. It is so important to also have a person who is stronger in their walk to talk to. I have the blessing of having my First Lady to talk to. She is like a big sister to me and I thank God everyday for her. I may not be able to talk to her as much as I used to, but when I do she always leaves a word with me that helps me further along in my walk. Finally, have literature that helps you now. I have read so many books about preparing for courtship and marriage but I have found that reading books about looking at this season as a blessing and not a transitional period helps me in my walk now. I want you to know that I am praying for you guys, especially in a society that looks at us like we have the plague when we tell them we are single and waiting on the Lord. Be blessed.

Fasting From Sex

....Lol, I know what you are thinking: "fasting from sex?" Let me explain. I had the blessing today of coming across a blog about the Blessings of Singleness and it mentioned fasting from food. I started to think about how fasting from sex or abstaining until our season of marriage is like fasting from food. When we fast from food our stomach still grumbles like when we abstain (especially those who have been sexually active before) from sex we still have a desire for it; but we press through it and put it before God because He will give us something better than.......a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger from Wendy's, lol. It had me thinking: when we don't really stress it and approach it on a day-by-day situation and REMIND ourselves everyday that God is more than able (since He is our architect; He made us this way) to handle this and keep us, it gets a little bit easier. I remember when we did the Daniel's Fast how the first week was the hardest, but as each day passed I didn't think about it much. I was focused. If I approach this the same way, knowing some days will be harder and staying in God's word and before Him; it will get easier because He will be giving me the strength. That being said, I want to leave these verses (NIV) to encourage you:

1. Jeremiah 29:11 (My most favorite verse)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

This verse reminds me that in that hour when it seems darkest and I doubt God; He already has it all mapped out and it will work out fine. All I have to do is follow that path He is leading me down.



2. Galatians 5:16

"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature."

This verse is pretty much self-explanatory; live by the spirit (a lifestyle that is in the Word and led by God) and you will not gratify the desires that are flesh- based. If you live for God and have a relationship with Him you wouldn't want to grieve Him by following and doing things that you know will break His heart. It like God is your spouse; you wouldn't intentionally do things to strain the relationship and hurt Him, right?



3. 2 Corinthians 4:17

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."

This one is the verse that belongs on my mirror so I can see it every morning. It just reminds me that this is nothing; the eternal glory, eternity trumps this little thing.



4. Isaiah 26:3

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."

If you keep your mind on Christ not on who is in a relationship now or getting married while you're still single, blah, blah, blah.....you will be calm and in peace. Trusting God is the hardest thing to do nowadays; we live in a microwave nation and we expect God's time to match ours. But if just let Go and let God because HE DOES KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING we will be in perfect peace. Perfect is a powerful word; it means no faults, errors, nothing. Can we /will we trust God? What would that look like?



5. Psalm 37:4

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

I am focusing on the first part of that verse, "delight yourself in the Lord". How can we or what can we do to delight ourselves in the Lord? I can think of one thing: treat Him like your best friend and tell Him everything, look forward to those times when you can speak to Him candidly. Get excited about this wonderful relationship you have with Christ Jesus!!!!!



That being said, I hope I have encouraged others in their season of singlehood; I know I have encouraged myself.





Be blessed!


image source: photo.net Entitled: Alone by Miguel Angel de Arriba Cuadrado

Absence Has Made My Heart Grow Fonder.....

I am a horrible blogger; I admit it. I have been so busy and neglected you. So, let me update you. We just had our Youth Convention. The theme was "Experience the Glory" and boy did we. It was absolutely amazing!!!!! My cousin entered courtship and I'm counting down the days until she walks down the altar. So, that leaves me as the token single girl in the bunch now. This basically translates to avoid ALL events where it will be a couples thing instead of friends hanging out ( I discovered that people in relationships are always trying to hook up their poor single friend, lol), seek out my single SAVED friends and start hanging out more often (this means the friends who love the season of singlehood they are in; not  the ones counting down the minutes, seconds, and milliseconds until they are in courtship), and enjoy this time to myself to work on anything I want. I am going to try to blog on a regular basis.......

Wearing My Heart on My Sleeve

I am all for the old fashion way of doing things but I wonder if wearing our heart on our sleeves is the best idea. I realized that while I was single I was in emotional relationships. Even though we weren’t together my mind frame didn’t really echo this. Why? Because mentally I was acting like we were together and if you look at it from that stand point I wasn’t really single, was I? Maybe it’s not like that for everyone; it just seems like that with me. I think I’m just rambling again…………….never mind me.

Prayer and Fast Day 7- Relax

Today after church, we went to see the movie The Proposal. It was great: great shoes, great guy, great girl, and great concept. I enjoyed being with the girls and in the city for something either than work related. Afterwards, we went to my best friend’s boyfriend LES apartment (did I mention I am in love with him, lol) to play video games and hang out. I realized in the midst of the hanging out that I actually felt lonely. I felt like I was alone in the crowd. It’s a funny feeling to try to describe. I know that God is there in the midst of everything, but sometimes we need a little reminding.

I Think I'm Infected.................

I figured that I could fight this disease for a while: Coupleness. Sad thing is I am so serious! My best friends and cousin are trying to infect me. To make matters worst the guy that has a crush on me (and I on him) is finally saying more than two words at a time to me; he's infected too. This used to make the avoiding a relationship easy because he was too afraid to hold a conversation and when he did, he stuttered. Now he wants to talk.... a lot (talk about overnight boldness). I have been so comfortable with being single because I finally had time to hang out with my girlfriends (something I never did) and focus on ministry more. I actually got to a place where I just wanted me and God and I loved it, no guy need apply (lol). Then here he comes: Mr. Man after my own heart, fashion loving and trend following, God-fearing, italian/slim suit wearing, Starbucks drinking guy and throws a monkey wrench in my plans. Oh the humanity! I saw him Saturday and you know what he talks about? My favorite store: Zara! To make matters worst all my friends and cousins are in on it (remember I mentioned EVERYONE is in a relationship now)! They're trying to set us up. But I will fight to the death! I will wear my singleness like a proud badge of honor (lol)! I know I am overreacting but I remember all that's involved: the akward glances, conversation starters, meeting the parents, your friends trying to decode average conversations, etc, etc, etc. ( I love the King & I, lol). I can fight it but for how long? And also isn't the saying is that it comes when you least expect it? Darn it; if that's the case then I think I'm in trouble.

Matching Outfits?

Happy Presidents Day! I am only saying this because I finally have a day off from work! THANK YOU JESUS! I was planning to go to the city and look for a dress for Saturday. My friends church is having a Youth Dinner, so I need a dress. Well, I don't need one but since I gave up shopping as part of my Daniel's fast I wanted to be in the stores badly. I need a fix, lol. My church went into a Daniel's fast for 21 days. From 6:00 am until 6:00 pm we refrained from food and sought the Lord. After 6:00, we were only allowed to have fruits and vegetables. It was easy except for the no caffeine and sugar part. My first week without coffee, I thought I would pass out! I decided to further sacrifice (I needed a serious breakthrough), I gave up shopping (its like breathing for me, lol) and wikipedia. Wikipedia, you ask? Yup, I read this website everyday! I love it, I learn something new everyday. if you haven't caught on yet, I am an absolute nerd. But I digress, I ended up staying home until the afternoon, I went to my cousins' job so we could go to the mall afterwards to dress shop ( I was desperate). It was there when my she revealed to me that she and her new boyfriend were going to do the unthinkable: wear matching outfits! I thought I was hearing things. My cousin is so anti-romantic I sometimes think she's a guy. But now that's she has entered courtship she has turned into a pile of gushing, always smiling, giggling, constantly talking about him GIRL! SMH, and I though she was family. I hope this doesn't catch, lol. This is 3 out of 4. I am all that's left in the single pond. I absolutely love it. But now that one wedding is months away, the next is planning hers and my cousin is now in courtship, I realize that girls nights out, group outings will now become double dating and couples outings. So now with this youth dinner looming on the horizon, and the reminder that the tickets sell as "single" and "couples" I cling to my identity as a "single" by a thread. I love the fact that I am in this stage of building and polishing but I think I am going to need new friends, lol. Who likes being a 7th wheel during bowling, movie nights, and at dinner outings anyway?

Table for 1?

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. On this day you fall into two categories: the haves and the have-nots. You either have someone to be your Valentine who will shower you with gifts and affection or you go out and eat solo or catch a chick-flick with another single girlfriend. Then you two try not empty too many containers of Ben & Jerry chocolate chip cookie dough. If you're the latter like moi, its the best time to embrace your singleness. After all it is a gift from God. This is a time to be broken from old habits, put through the fire, cleaned and polished before we meet our partner for this walk. If you have been called to a life of "singleness"? You have the ultimate lover of your soul to talk with whenever and wherever. How excellent is that?
In a society where they reserve showing their love to the significant other for this particular day, I often wonder: Is everyday Valentine's Day for the Christian believer? Think about it, God loved us so much that He sent His ONLY son to beome the ultimate sacrifice so that we may have everlasting life (John 3:16). I think that we should be thinking about the spiritual roses and chocolates we get from the Lord everyday in His word and life.