Opening Up....Well, Trying To.

I had an amazing conversation with my First Lady on Saturday about being single and my frame of mind about the topic. She said she noticed that I closed myself off; and to be honest I had. That is one of the things I love about her, I have known her for over 15 years and she can read me like a book. She's like the big sister I never had...but back to the topic at hand. I have realized that I reached a point where I have cut myself off so that I don't have to deal with any drama. It wasn't intentional at first; it just slowly started.....I just didn't want to be bothered with the drama of being in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I want to be in one but the RIGHT ONE. And that brings us to why we were having that discussion. I felt that the bad outweighed the good and in a Christian relationship these days, the drama would be too stressful (I came to this conclusion because I was exposed to every one's drama). After talking to her, I realized I was closed off, but my dilemma now is how do I open up? When I made my decision to stay single for One Year I didn't pray about it or seek God's guidance. I just decided that I had enough. Funny thing is the year ends the day after Valentine's Day. LOL, too funny! So I decided to let Jesus take the wheel and stop closing people off (easier said than done). So now that I know this is an issue, I am afraid to see what God will do about it; He seems to be a comedian lately. I guess the issue has come back up because literally ALL of my friends are either married or getting married this year. It doesn’t bother me that I single but I feel like I’m at the point where I might be hindering the next level because I don’t want to go there; pretty selfish right? I don’t want to this and I don’t want to that. The one thing I learn that in CHRISTIAN relationships it’s not about you: it’s about the other person. You must protect their hearts, minds and most important: their salvation. So the question is: does God think I’m ready for such a task?