Opening Up....Well, Trying To.

I had an amazing conversation with my First Lady on Saturday about being single and my frame of mind about the topic. She said she noticed that I closed myself off; and to be honest I had. That is one of the things I love about her, I have known her for over 15 years and she can read me like a book. She's like the big sister I never had...but back to the topic at hand. I have realized that I reached a point where I have cut myself off so that I don't have to deal with any drama. It wasn't intentional at first; it just slowly started.....I just didn't want to be bothered with the drama of being in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I want to be in one but the RIGHT ONE. And that brings us to why we were having that discussion. I felt that the bad outweighed the good and in a Christian relationship these days, the drama would be too stressful (I came to this conclusion because I was exposed to every one's drama). After talking to her, I realized I was closed off, but my dilemma now is how do I open up? When I made my decision to stay single for One Year I didn't pray about it or seek God's guidance. I just decided that I had enough. Funny thing is the year ends the day after Valentine's Day. LOL, too funny! So I decided to let Jesus take the wheel and stop closing people off (easier said than done). So now that I know this is an issue, I am afraid to see what God will do about it; He seems to be a comedian lately. I guess the issue has come back up because literally ALL of my friends are either married or getting married this year. It doesn’t bother me that I single but I feel like I’m at the point where I might be hindering the next level because I don’t want to go there; pretty selfish right? I don’t want to this and I don’t want to that. The one thing I learn that in CHRISTIAN relationships it’s not about you: it’s about the other person. You must protect their hearts, minds and most important: their salvation. So the question is: does God think I’m ready for such a task?

How Will It Turn Out?

I hate when I feel like I am just standing in the rain. You feel deserted, like you should have known better. I sometimes get frustrated with things when I can’t figure out how it’s supposed to work or will end up. I have to remind myself that God is sovereign. He has absolute control and supreme authority over EVERYTHING! So that means nothing happens without He knowledge or permission. My favorite verse in the Bible Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that God has plans for us. These plans are good and they are going to give us a good future and ending. So with that being said, we should relax. Let Jesus take the wheel and lead us to a wonderful paradise.