I admitted this to a friend recently, and I still laugh at myself about it. I have a little bit of a "thing" for the "Bad Guy's Lair Numbers" in Hindi movies. It's very random, I know, and extremely shameful. I mean WHO fantasizes about being kidnapped by the bad guys and forced to do a song and dance number in their cave/palace/mansion? Uhhh, that would be me.
If you aren't too familiar with the "Bad Guy's Lair" in Hindi films, may I suggest a look at my Bollyblogging Guru & Inspiration Beth Loves Bollywood's post about "Villain's Lairs" and the best ones according to her? Some of these are really fab.
The whole point of the "Bad Guy's Lair Number" is to distract the villain with the heroine's sparkly sultriness so the hero can go rescue people/find the diamonds/sneak into the lair to fight the bad guy/etc. Or she can be there to sneak into the lair herself and rescue someone. Sometimes it's the heroine alone, and sometimes it's along with the hero who has disguised himself as a performer to sneak into the lair.
I have realized over the years that I have a sort of penchant for these numbers and have always secretly dreamed of being tasked with this responsibility (never mind the fact that the villain would probably laugh in my face). But in the spirit of disclosing Shameful Bollywood secret pleasures this week, I have decided to list my favorite "Bad Guy's Lair Numbers" for you:
1. Yamma Yamma - Shaan
The movie features my favorite bad guy lair ever - Shakaal's boardroom-of-DOOM was amazing. And this song is my favorite bad guy's lair fantasy song EVER. I totally wanted to be a part of this dangerous dance team. I think this is the most awkward dance Parveen Babi ever did. And I kinda loved Bindiya Goswami, what happened to her? Love how Shakaal is sitting in the golden throne of awesome. Can someone confirm for me whether or not the Chick in Red is Helen?
2. Ghazar Ne Kiya Hai Ishara - Tridev
Apparently the gaudier your outfit, the more entranced the villains are by your seductiveness. Do you think Amrish Puri just happened to have these outfits in their sizes hanging around in his lair? Let's play which chick would you want to be? I vote for Sonam, I love the all white/silver outfit. I remember around the time this movie released, there was a gossip item that said Madhuri threw a fit during shooting this number because Sonam's aunt sewed extra sparkly stuff onto her outfit. They solved it when Sonam's aunt sewed extra sparkly stuff on Mads outfit too. Apparently Sangeeta Bijlani stayed out of it. Mads, Mads, Mads - DIVA much? Oh and in other scary thoughts, Sonam was 15 when they started shooting this, and she was paired with Naseerudin Shah. Gahhh. But check out the LAIR. It's got waterfalls, bamboo bridges, the GIANT golden sun clock, cave walls with a built in bar, exposed wooden beams and handy jail cells! Note: I totally love Amrish Puri's looks of amusement while the girls dance around him. He doesn't seem lecherous at all, he seems like a kindly old Uncle. Are they roasting kebabs at the end? How cool!
3. Toofan - Vishwatma
Apparently mullets are a prereq to being a villain in this lair. Amrish has also acquired African Zulu henchmen by this film. They also installed a pool. Sweet! And Sonam ditched Mads & Sangeeta for Divya Bharati and Jyotsna Singh (yeah, I know. WHO?). I like how prisoner Naseerudin gets to join in the party.
4. Reshmi Ujala Hai - Sharmilee
You gotta love a villain's lair that has an attached cabaret club. It can also double as a gym to practice your Olympic gymnastics - those rings can be very useful! This one is a cornucopia of sins - money, booze, women! And wow! Rakhee looks HOT. Both of her.
5. Khatooba - Ali Baba aur 40 Chor
Man I was terrified for the gorgeous Zeenat in this song, but she handles all these crazy dudes so well. And can a magical cave Bad Guy's Lair be ANY COOLER? It's got a light up disco floor!!! She's got a lot at stake too with her father trapped in a pit. Oh and the part where the ghost/genie appears used to freak me out as a kid. I have a remix of this song on my iPod and it's amazing when you're on the treadmill. The end where she gets slapped? Sooo not cool. Please don't think I have a chicks getting slapped fetish, because I don't.
6. Nayak Nahin Khal Nayak Hoon Mein - Khal Nayak
OMG this song. Madhuri was out of this world in this movie - I totally loved her even though she was slightly cracked. She totally infiltrated Sanju Baba's gang. Now this song isn't quite representative of trying to distract the bad guy with your song & dance, but it's still quite a grand display of the Lair! Check out Khal Nayak's mansion! Ramya Krishnan seems pretty happy to be there celebrating with him. I think she got her outfits from Amrish Puri's stash of gaudy girl outfits. Sanju is looking pimptastic! And hey! Those are the same background dancer girls from Ole Ole (Yeh Dillagi) and Loye Loye (Yaarana)!
7. Aankhon Ke Aage Peeche - Rajkumar
This movie was redonkulus. Just look at evil Naseerudin's devil outfit! And he is super creepy in this. So is Madhuri w/ those Rani Mukherjee contacts. I have decided I don't like Angry-Trying-to-be-Sexy!Madhuri at all. Look at Anil Kapoor's expression at 3:03. That's how I was watching this whole song. WTH is going on??? I DID see this movie and all I remember was that she was supposed to be some Princess Vishaka of some mythical kingdom and that there were two Naseerudins. I agree with PPCC's post on this movie - it was a travesty! I do however love the idea that once the bad guys have captured the good guys, instead of immediately killing them, they prefer to chain the guy and force the girl to dance sexily (DANCE MONKEY DANCE!).
8. Jaane Woh Kaisa Chor - Yaarana
It has become clear that Madhuri is the Queen of the Bad Guy's Lair Dances. Congratulations Madhuri! Your prize is to have your husband and children chained to the wall and made to watch while you dance and sing in your sparkly outfit of choice. Enjoy your reign!
But here's more angry Madhuri choosing to express her indignance through song and dance. Oh and a really freaky Raj Babbar - I would be too terrified to entice this guy! Hey did he borrow Khal Nayak's mansion? And it's nice that he invited guests for her display. Love when she nails him with the drink at the end. And OMG another slap!!! What is wrong with me? I cannot like this stuff. This movie was so freakin' weird too. I should recap it for as a Shameful Classic if there's time.
9. Dushman Dil Ka Jo Hai - Roop Ki Rani Choron Ka Raja
How can I NOT love a set with a giant golden Sphinx? Pretty rockin' party there Anupam Kher. And MAN, Sridevi is totally queen of the Angry Dance. Way to stay undercover there, Sri.
10. Aayi Woh Raat - Parvarish
So unfortunately this song doesn't feature the AMAZING Villain's Lair in Parvarish, but instead brings the distraction/revenge song to a performance venue. But what a fabulous technicolor set! You CAN see part of the lair starting at about 3:08 in this video clip. And OMG there's a submarine too!
11. Mujhe Maar Daalo - Geeta Mera Naam
This video is super crazy. First of all, Sadhana is rocking her outfit there. And being whipped by the bad guys always makes me burst into song. Then we have Helen hanging out in the cotton candy pink bubble bath lounge wearing the Miss Universe crown (and very little else) and generally being awesome. Shoot, everyone is going to think I have a violent love fetish. But don't tell me you don't kind of want to hang out in this place! If I had it to myself, I'd bring in roller skates and put on the Xanadu soundtrack.
12. Jai Maa Kaali - Karan Arjun
Ahhh. Amrish Puri revisits his Kali Maa cave from Indiana Jones! I love love love this song and totally want to be out there dancing with these guys (omg I LOVE Sallu in this). This cool cave comes complete with waterfalls, skylights, high ceilings, and four people that want to kill you. Oh, and a creepy mad old Rakhee seeking revenge for her dead sons that have been reborn and look exactly the same. OMG I love this movie!!! I want to see it again.
13. Dekho Arre Dilbar - Pran Jaye Par Vachan Na Aaye
This is by far the BEST villain's lair I have ever seen. It's so sparkly!!! Crystal/mirrored/tinsel walls, rose petal beds, a wall cut-out bar (1:53). I have not seen this movie but after watching this video I am putting it on my list. I totally didn't even recognize Rekha!
14. Kanwarlal Naam Hai Mera - Meri Aawaaz Suno
I think there was a room that looked like this at my college (somewhere in the Michigan Union, Univ of Michigan Ann Arbor - GO BLUE!). Sadly, there was no Jumping Jack Flash Jeetendra in silver lame (his son was wandering around there somewhere though). So this time the guy is more of the entertainment, but the fun here was that both he and Parveen were undercover cops in this lair.
15. Kaise Mukhde Se - English Babu Desi Mem
Sonali Bendre looks gorgeous but man, she can't dance. But this movie was heartbreaking. They can always get me by using a kid. Oh look! It's the same background dancer girls from Nayak Nahin, Ole Ole, etc. I can't remember exactly how she ends up the "property" of creepy guy in the chair, but seriously, if he "owned" her, the first thing he would do would be to make her dance a qawaali? Really like the stained glass mirror work on the bar, very classy. Nice colors of peach and white. If I remember correctly, this entire song took place on a yacht. Awesome choice there Kiran Kumar.
I think I could go on forever and my brain is starting to hurt, so I'm going to stop myself. But I WOULD like to hear from y'all about the ones I've missed, I'm sure there are PLENTY of them out there. Let me know what I'm missing from this shameful list!
Showing posts with label Shameful Classics Week 2010. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shameful Classics Week 2010. Show all posts
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Shameful Classics Week: Slap me baby!
Today's Song of the Day is definitely a Shameful Classic. From the Telugu hit movie "Jagadeka Veerudu Athiloka Sundari" starring Chiranjeevi and Sridevi, in which she plays an Apsara. Just check out this plot description from Wikipedia:
The story revolves around Raju (Chiru), a guide and caretaker of 4 young orphans. One day he comes upon a magical ring in the Himalayas, where he had gone to search for a cure for one of the children, who was accidentally injured. The ring belongs to a celestial being, Indraja (Sridevi), the daughter of Lord Indra.
She comes back to Earth to retrieve it. During her earthly voyage, she becomes close with the orphans, she is kidnapped by a sorcerer who wants to sacrifice her to become immortal, is rescued, and eventually finds true love, Raju. She, at the end, throws away her ring and goes to her love to live a mortal life instead of returning to her heavenly abode.
Ummmm. Yeah. Awesome.
But that's not what makes this song shameful. Nor is the song itself, which was a super-duper hit and was copied in Hindi and also a super duper hit that made Madhuri Dixit even MORE famous than she already was.
The shame is liking the picturization of this song DESPITE the fact that it's fantasy/love song stemming from the fact that Chiranjeevi SLAPS Sridevi across the face. He SLAPS her. And that makes her fall in "lowwe" with him.
Ugh. I mean, just, UGH.
And yet, this song is just amazing. Is it awesome enough to overcome the totally inappropriate slap and the subsequent glorification of it?
The story revolves around Raju (Chiru), a guide and caretaker of 4 young orphans. One day he comes upon a magical ring in the Himalayas, where he had gone to search for a cure for one of the children, who was accidentally injured. The ring belongs to a celestial being, Indraja (Sridevi), the daughter of Lord Indra.
She comes back to Earth to retrieve it. During her earthly voyage, she becomes close with the orphans, she is kidnapped by a sorcerer who wants to sacrifice her to become immortal, is rescued, and eventually finds true love, Raju. She, at the end, throws away her ring and goes to her love to live a mortal life instead of returning to her heavenly abode.
Ummmm. Yeah. Awesome.
But that's not what makes this song shameful. Nor is the song itself, which was a super-duper hit and was copied in Hindi and also a super duper hit that made Madhuri Dixit even MORE famous than she already was.
The shame is liking the picturization of this song DESPITE the fact that it's fantasy/love song stemming from the fact that Chiranjeevi SLAPS Sridevi across the face. He SLAPS her. And that makes her fall in "lowwe" with him.
Ugh. I mean, just, UGH.
And yet, this song is just amazing. Is it awesome enough to overcome the totally inappropriate slap and the subsequent glorification of it?
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Shameful Classics Week: Seeta aur Raadha, sab kuch aadha aadha!
This is by far one of my favorite movies of all-time, and also probably one of the worst I've ever seen. It is total classic Rajshri Pictures circa 1970s with second-rate stars like Reeta Bhadhuri, Arun Govil (the future face of Ramanand Sagar's Ramayana), and Abha Dhulia, aided by the likes of Jagdeep. This is total 70s nonsense, and I love it to bits and pieces. I could watch this movie over and over and never get tired of it. And there is absolutely no legitimate reason to love it (aside from the music by Ravindra Jain).
NO ONE has ever seen this movie. Anytime I mention it, people ask "Oh you mean Seeta aur Geeta?"
NO.
I mean Raadha aur Seeta - the touching tale of two best friends, one feisty and wealthy, one simple and sweet. "Seeta aur Raadha - sab kuch aadha aadha" is an actual line from the movie - "Seeta and Raadha, everything half-half" ... meaning these girls share everything equally! What in the world could ever come between best friends like this?
The credits show us the two girls spending all their time together, Raadha often resplendent in horrible 70s western-style clothes, Seeta always dressed in plain saris. At one point they meet up at the park and spin around in a circle, because that's what best friends do when they meet, don't you know?
As you can see, Raadha is very modern. How interesting it is then that her best friend would be the seedhi-saadhi Seeta, dressed in a simple sari, coming from a modest home, pausing to do a prayer before the sacred Tulsi plant before heading off to college. Isn't she sweet?
Clearly because she's such a freakin' hottie, she gets accosted by this amazing character who wants to give her a lift.
Who could ever turn this guy down? He's such a winner! Anyway, thankfully it's Raadha to the rescue! She pulls up and asks Seeta what the dude said to her. Seeta tries to say that it was nothing, but Raadha weasels the story out of her. Yay! It's time for PissedOff!Raadha to SHOW Mr. Hair that no one messes with her Seeta. She charges after him in her faboo red convertible, forces him to stop and then publicly thrashes him, saying that if he likes to give rides so much then she can give him a ride to the police station. After the guy apologizes to Seeta, she lets him go. Seeta asks if she would have really taken him to the police station, and Raadha replies that if anyone messes with her best friend, she'll take them beyond the police station, she'll take them straight to "Uparwale" i.e. God. Dang. That's friendship. (Insert theme music from Mustafa Mustafa Don't Worry Mustafa)
Raadha and Seeta arrive at college as their teacher is taking attendance (this is one of those scenes my sisters and I quote incessantly. I don't know why, but we can't stop going, "PRAMILA SOOD? (yes, miss!) RITA FERNANDES? (present, miss) RAADHA SAXENA?" "YES MISS!") -- because of the Loafer who dared to offer Seeta a ride, the girls are late. The teacher tries to ask them why, and each of them claims that it was their fault and to please excuse the other one. Awww, aren't they just cho chweet?
Ok, this is going to be annoying to the reader because there's so many fantastic and totally useless quotes in this movie. The lecture they attend that morning is about Tulsidas's Aadarsh Pati Ram i.e. the "ideal nature" of Ram as a husband. Raadha argues with Seeta after class that Ram was an ideal son, brother, king but NOT husband, for he let Seeta, who suffered 14 years of exile with him in the forest, be tried by fire for the time she spent as a captive of Ravana. As she gets all fired up, she says "Agar mein Seeta hoti thi," (If *I* were Seeta) and Seeta cuts her off, saying "Isi liye tu Seeta nahin, Raadha hai!" (that's why you're not Seeta, you're Raadha!) - har har har.
I have to mention that my sisters and I were so nuts about this movie, even the throwaway lines are ones that we still repeat to each other, like right after the Adarsh Ram scene, one of Raadha's friends says "Chalo Raadha, aaj game khelenge" (Come on Raadha, let's play a game today) and Raadha replies, "Nahin, aaj nahin, phir kabhi." (Not today, another time). There is absolutely NOTHING notable about this exchange, yet all these years later, my sisters and I still quote this at each other. The big question is WHAT GAME??? Badminton? Oh don't worry, that's a-coming.
Raadha heads over to Seeta's after school for some of Seeta's widowed mummy's fabulous chai in their fabulous wood-paneled sitting room.
Raadha tells Seeta's mom not to worry because she will be the one to find Seeta's Ram for her. Famous last words, Raadha. Dun dun duuuuuuuunnnnn. They also deliver the awesomely cheesy "Seeta aur Raadha, sab kuch aadha aadha" line in this scene, when Raadha give half of her sweet to Seeta.
So anyway, Raadha talking about her finding Seeta's Ram for her leads us into meeting our fabulous hero, Shekhar! Shekhar is the son of a wealthy business owner, as evidenced by him driving up to his home in a fancy convertible. He stops to tell one of the family servants all about his badminton game, and proceeds to swat him with the racket and say another one of our favorite quotes: "Theek hai Kaka, mein ABHI (swat) aaya" (Ok Kaka, I'll be right back!). We didn't know whether to be pleased for Kaka that he had just been knighted with the racket, or upset for him that he was just swatted like a fly. (I spent a good 20 mins trying to get a screencap of this swat and gave up).
So we get the story that Shekhar is Richie Rich, and he wants togo to the forest in exile for 14 years make it in life on his own, working hard and not using his wealth and family connections. His dad is all, "Fine kid, more money for me!" and the mom is all "Just bring me a damn daughter-in-law, I'm so sick of washing your chuddis."
So off Shekhar goes to interview out of town and he's planning to stay with his good buddy Bhagwan, played by Jagdeep. Now this dude is a CHARACTER. He's obsessed with shatranj, or chess, and chooses to play against himself, complete with different voices for each side.
So of course this loony is Seeta's neighbor. And he's married to a supposed South-Indian (worst South Indian accent ever) who constantly makes dosa and says "Aiyayo". This was of course, very amusing to us Tamil Bombayites. So Bhagwan's Aiyayo, as he affectionately refers to her, tells him that he's received a letter from his friend Shekhar who is coming to town and hopes to crash with them. Way to impose, Shekhar.
So Shekhar arrives, and in an amusing mix-up, Bhagwan has gone to the station to pick him up at the same time. So guess who is over at Bhagwan's house helping his wife cook and just HAPPENS to answer the door? Of course, it's our awkwardly lovely Seeta.
She ends up acting like a total brat when they bump into each other, and proceeds to pretend that she's someone important when he comes in to interview. She goes through his file, commenting on all his awards with the very sassy line, "Gold Medalist ... Gold Medalist ... Gold ... to aap to Mr. Gold Medalist hai?" BURN. He totally gets her back though, by saying that to sit in her father's seat she didn't need any degrees or hard-work. BUUUURN. Luckily Mr. Saxena comes in at that moment and sends Shekhar off with the General Manager to get started. Raadha's all puffed up with indignant fury, which of course tells us that LOWWE is not far behind.
Back at home Shekhar is sharing sweets with Bhagwan & Aiyayo because of his fancy new job, and goes to give some to the neighbors too. He finds Seeta in the garden writing the crappiest emo poetry ever, "Phoolon ka jeevan thoda hai, par is ka unko khed nahin." They have a little shy love fest in the garden, where he completes her poetry and tries to give her a rose, and when she's too shy to take it, he asks her if she doesn't like flowers? And she delivers the following line in a totally dry, goofy voice, "Koun hai aisa jise phoolon se, geeton se, panchiyon se pyar na ho?" (Who is there that doesn't love flowers, songs and doves?) -- Me Seeta. That stuff is for lo-o-o-o-sers.
So then we get our first song, which is very memorable to me because I used to think it was about a Monkey taking a Bath.
Someone please explain to me why she is watering the plants in the rain? What a goofball. Also, I think in addition to the no wet Govinda rule, there should be a NO WET ARUN GOVIL RULE. Please.
So Raadha & Shekhar run into each other again because of his working for her father (love the Autorickshaw driver that demands "Char Rupey Aashey Payshey" - WTH?) and again he very kindly and respectfully insults her. And then Shekhar & Seeta's dorky romance in the front yard around the Tulsi plant continues.
I'm not sure if it's possible to have LESS chemistry.
So the Scooby Gang goes shopping and while Bhagwan starts a hilarious game of chess with a storekeeper, Seeta admires a gorgeous pink saree, which Shekhar notes in his Harriet the Spy notebook. Of course he decides to buy it for her, because he LOWWES her y'all.
Raadha runs into Shekhar again, at the country club, and sort of barks at him to play badminton with her. He of course beats her, which normally I'd be annoyed at the guy beating the girl thing, but she's such a brat in this that you actually enjoy her defeat.
Oh Shekhar, you are so BA. You can play badminton! Raadha certainly thinks so, because in the process of being pwned, she falls for him! Soon after, Shekhar is heading home after picking up Seeta's sari and Raadha drives by in her red roadster and offers him a ride. Unfortunately the sari package falls down in the car during the ride, and he gets all of his items except for the sari when leaving. Oh noooooeeees!
During the ride Shekhar starts waxing poetic about how he didn't expect to meet someone "speshul" in a new city so quickly, and Raadha assumes he's talking about her, so she's all in lowwwe. She goes home and runs up to stare at herself in the mirror, because that's what one does when one is in love (although if you watch the 1993 travesty Sahibaan, you will learn that you clean your house in the middle of the night when you are in love). Note: Raadha's hair has spontaneously grown to waist-length because of her LOWWE.
So of course after Radha gets home one of her house-elves finds the package in the car and gives it to her. She opens it up and finds the most EPIC LOVE NOTE OF ALL TIME.
The clever eye will note that the psychadelic background during their performance appears to be the SAME one in Dharmendra's dream bedroom in the title song from Dream Girl!!! Will wonders never cease?
So both girls try to meet up with Shekhar after the show, but alas, he is called away by work! Seeta's all pissed and uses the hanging up laundry in his face move to show his displeasure, because she's passive-agressive you see. Not so perfect anymore! (the real joy in this scene is seeing how the "terrace background with the sky" is actually painted on to a wall, as evidenced by a visible corner!):
A few more missed opportunities for the friends to figure out what's going on happen, and I'm starting to sing The Boy is Mine in my head. Shekhar's dad comes to visit and he and Raadha's dad are big-time buddies. Raadha's dad Dilton Doiley brings Shekhar's dad home, and Raadha gets all excited being domestic for show:
It turns out Seeta missed the party because she rushed off to the hospital with Aiyayo, who turns out to be preggers. Ok, that's nice and all Seeta, but um, she is just your neighbor and your mom is there with her. Raadha is your BEST FRIEND WHOSE LOVE YOU ARE ABOUT TO STEAL. She comes late and Raadha tells her all about how he sang the song of emo love to her. Jeez girls, don't you ask the freakin' name of the guy your best friend is in luuurve with? Note: Raadha's lowwwe not only makes her hair grow, it makes her wear saris instead of those goofy frocks she was wearing previously.
So Raadha's family has figured out between the hair and the saris that she's in love, so her dad decides to talk to Shekhar about hooking them up. Oddly, before the talk, Mr. Saxena's in his office admiring a ring in a box. Perhaps he is also dreaming about marrying Shekhar? Anyway, Shekhar has to finally admit to Mr. Saxena that he loves someone else and can't marry Raadha. Mr. Saxena is horrified and goes home all sad and disappointed. When he tells Raadha, she gets MAD.
She goes flying off to Shekhar's office to tell him off for leading her on, and delivers one of my favorite lines EVER: "Kyun Likhata ... with love from Shekhar?"
There are lots of close ups on people's eyes from here on out:
The best part is when somehow from at least a few feet away she manages to project her tears onto one of the mirrors for this fabulously emo shot:
BTW I love pathos versions of songs. The best one ever was the sad version of Tirchi Topiwale. I seriously thought it was so beautiful. Then my sisters and I started coming up with our own, like "Eena Meena Deeka" with sad violins, and "Mera Naam Tha Chin Chin Choo". Ok I know, we're weird.
Unfortunately the rest of the movie is a lot of angst and song narration, as Raadha asks Shekhar to never tell Seeta that he was the "HE" she was telling her about:
And because Raadha is such aglutton for punishment great friend, she insists that Seeta's baaraat must come to her house, and arranges for fancy decorations and the works. She even makes them a special sign out of her rich girl's Lite Brite set:
So the wedding is all fabulous and fancy, and Raadha stands around a lot looking sad and teary, and I guess you're supposed to feel sorry for her and think what an amazing martyr she is, but I'm just thinking, Girl, He's Just Not That Into You. Get over it.
I really, honestly have no idea why we loved this movie so much. There is absolutely no content here. But I suppose when you are 4 or 5 years old, you can't imagine a tragedy greater than falling in love with the same guy as your nerdy, middle-class best friend and then LOSING him to her. And at that age I used to mistake pounds of make-up for beauty and thought OMG Raadha is so much prettier, why does he like Seeta? See, I didn't realize that good looks (though we are speaking relatively here) are no match for the powers of a submissive, docile, domestic girl in a sari who prays to a Tulsi plant. Men are still chauvinistic jerks that like these kind of girls because it makes them feel manly to have to care for a fragile, sweet girl. Maybe Raadha wouldn't have lost Shekhar if she hadn't let him see her without her butt-length wig. And in the frocks!
But seriously, I don't know if one can have a more shameful favorite movie than this crap from the back of the Rajshri vault. And yet, I could watch it again right now. If for nothing else, then for the pretty pink sari, which after all these years I am still searching for. Let me know if you find it, because I WANT it. I might even write myself a note, "With love from Shekhar."
NO ONE has ever seen this movie. Anytime I mention it, people ask "Oh you mean Seeta aur Geeta?"
NO.
I mean Raadha aur Seeta - the touching tale of two best friends, one feisty and wealthy, one simple and sweet. "Seeta aur Raadha - sab kuch aadha aadha" is an actual line from the movie - "Seeta and Raadha, everything half-half" ... meaning these girls share everything equally! What in the world could ever come between best friends like this?
Aww yeah. Raavan ain't got nuthin on me, man.
The credits show us the two girls spending all their time together, Raadha often resplendent in horrible 70s western-style clothes, Seeta always dressed in plain saris. At one point they meet up at the park and spin around in a circle, because that's what best friends do when they meet, don't you know?
Sorry about the titles ...
*I'm totally not even going to bother with spoilers here, because there's no chance in the world anyone is ever going to watch this movie.*
We begin our story at Raadha's hotel lobby home, where she is descending the steps like an Indian Cinderella (in a pink satin blouse w/ huge puffy sleeves vs. a ballgown).
Raadha apparently lives alone in this palace with her father (who may or may not be a grown up Dilton Doiley from Archie Comics) and her Bua (father's sister) who hovers around like Casper the Friendly Ghost.
As you can see, Raadha is very modern. How interesting it is then that her best friend would be the seedhi-saadhi Seeta, dressed in a simple sari, coming from a modest home, pausing to do a prayer before the sacred Tulsi plant before heading off to college. Isn't she sweet?
Clearly because she's such a freakin' hottie, she gets accosted by this amazing character who wants to give her a lift.
Who could ever turn this guy down? He's such a winner! Anyway, thankfully it's Raadha to the rescue! She pulls up and asks Seeta what the dude said to her. Seeta tries to say that it was nothing, but Raadha weasels the story out of her. Yay! It's time for PissedOff!Raadha to SHOW Mr. Hair that no one messes with her Seeta. She charges after him in her faboo red convertible, forces him to stop and then publicly thrashes him, saying that if he likes to give rides so much then she can give him a ride to the police station. After the guy apologizes to Seeta, she lets him go. Seeta asks if she would have really taken him to the police station, and Raadha replies that if anyone messes with her best friend, she'll take them beyond the police station, she'll take them straight to "Uparwale" i.e. God. Dang. That's friendship. (Insert theme music from Mustafa Mustafa Don't Worry Mustafa)
Raadha and Seeta arrive at college as their teacher is taking attendance (this is one of those scenes my sisters and I quote incessantly. I don't know why, but we can't stop going, "PRAMILA SOOD? (yes, miss!) RITA FERNANDES? (present, miss) RAADHA SAXENA?" "YES MISS!") -- because of the Loafer who dared to offer Seeta a ride, the girls are late. The teacher tries to ask them why, and each of them claims that it was their fault and to please excuse the other one. Awww, aren't they just cho chweet?
Ok, this is going to be annoying to the reader because there's so many fantastic and totally useless quotes in this movie. The lecture they attend that morning is about Tulsidas's Aadarsh Pati Ram i.e. the "ideal nature" of Ram as a husband. Raadha argues with Seeta after class that Ram was an ideal son, brother, king but NOT husband, for he let Seeta, who suffered 14 years of exile with him in the forest, be tried by fire for the time she spent as a captive of Ravana. As she gets all fired up, she says "Agar mein Seeta hoti thi," (If *I* were Seeta) and Seeta cuts her off, saying "Isi liye tu Seeta nahin, Raadha hai!" (that's why you're not Seeta, you're Raadha!) - har har har.
I have to mention that my sisters and I were so nuts about this movie, even the throwaway lines are ones that we still repeat to each other, like right after the Adarsh Ram scene, one of Raadha's friends says "Chalo Raadha, aaj game khelenge" (Come on Raadha, let's play a game today) and Raadha replies, "Nahin, aaj nahin, phir kabhi." (Not today, another time). There is absolutely NOTHING notable about this exchange, yet all these years later, my sisters and I still quote this at each other. The big question is WHAT GAME??? Badminton? Oh don't worry, that's a-coming.
Raadha heads over to Seeta's after school for some of Seeta's widowed mummy's fabulous chai in their fabulous wood-paneled sitting room.
Raadha tells Seeta's mom not to worry because she will be the one to find Seeta's Ram for her. Famous last words, Raadha. Dun dun duuuuuuuunnnnn. They also deliver the awesomely cheesy "Seeta aur Raadha, sab kuch aadha aadha" line in this scene, when Raadha give half of her sweet to Seeta.
So anyway, Raadha talking about her finding Seeta's Ram for her leads us into meeting our fabulous hero, Shekhar! Shekhar is the son of a wealthy business owner, as evidenced by him driving up to his home in a fancy convertible. He stops to tell one of the family servants all about his badminton game, and proceeds to swat him with the racket and say another one of our favorite quotes: "Theek hai Kaka, mein ABHI (swat) aaya" (Ok Kaka, I'll be right back!). We didn't know whether to be pleased for Kaka that he had just been knighted with the racket, or upset for him that he was just swatted like a fly. (I spent a good 20 mins trying to get a screencap of this swat and gave up).
So we get the story that Shekhar is Richie Rich, and he wants to
So off Shekhar goes to interview out of town and he's planning to stay with his good buddy Bhagwan, played by Jagdeep. Now this dude is a CHARACTER. He's obsessed with shatranj, or chess, and chooses to play against himself, complete with different voices for each side.
So of course this loony is Seeta's neighbor. And he's married to a supposed South-Indian (worst South Indian accent ever) who constantly makes dosa and says "Aiyayo". This was of course, very amusing to us Tamil Bombayites. So Bhagwan's Aiyayo, as he affectionately refers to her, tells him that he's received a letter from his friend Shekhar who is coming to town and hopes to crash with them. Way to impose, Shekhar.
So Shekhar arrives, and in an amusing mix-up, Bhagwan has gone to the station to pick him up at the same time. So guess who is over at Bhagwan's house helping his wife cook and just HAPPENS to answer the door? Of course, it's our awkwardly lovely Seeta.
She's so shy
After he realizes she is not Bhagwan's wife, he falls in lowwe with her immediately. She is everything he thinks his Mummy wants in a daughter-in-law! So in plot exposition convo w/ Bhagwan, Shekhar reveals that he has an interview for a position with his dad's own company, but doesn't want to tell anyone that he is the owner's son.
Before leaving for his interview, he of course runs into Miss Perfect Seeta praying to the Tulsi plant, because she's so damn perfect (I'm starting to get irritated. Talk about a Mary Sue!).
So Shekhar gets to the office for his interview and bumps into the Boss's daughter .... guess who??
She ends up acting like a total brat when they bump into each other, and proceeds to pretend that she's someone important when he comes in to interview. She goes through his file, commenting on all his awards with the very sassy line, "Gold Medalist ... Gold Medalist ... Gold ... to aap to Mr. Gold Medalist hai?" BURN. He totally gets her back though, by saying that to sit in her father's seat she didn't need any degrees or hard-work. BUUUURN. Luckily Mr. Saxena comes in at that moment and sends Shekhar off with the General Manager to get started. Raadha's all puffed up with indignant fury, which of course tells us that LOWWE is not far behind.
Back at home Shekhar is sharing sweets with Bhagwan & Aiyayo because of his fancy new job, and goes to give some to the neighbors too. He finds Seeta in the garden writing the crappiest emo poetry ever, "Phoolon ka jeevan thoda hai, par is ka unko khed nahin." They have a little shy love fest in the garden, where he completes her poetry and tries to give her a rose, and when she's too shy to take it, he asks her if she doesn't like flowers? And she delivers the following line in a totally dry, goofy voice, "Koun hai aisa jise phoolon se, geeton se, panchiyon se pyar na ho?" (Who is there that doesn't love flowers, songs and doves?) -- Me Seeta. That stuff is for lo-o-o-o-sers.
So then we get our first song, which is very memorable to me because I used to think it was about a Monkey taking a Bath.
Someone please explain to me why she is watering the plants in the rain? What a goofball. Also, I think in addition to the no wet Govinda rule, there should be a NO WET ARUN GOVIL RULE. Please.
So Raadha & Shekhar run into each other again because of his working for her father (love the Autorickshaw driver that demands "Char Rupey Aashey Payshey" - WTH?) and again he very kindly and respectfully insults her. And then Shekhar & Seeta's dorky romance in the front yard around the Tulsi plant continues.
I'm not sure if it's possible to have LESS chemistry.
So the Scooby Gang goes shopping and while Bhagwan starts a hilarious game of chess with a storekeeper, Seeta admires a gorgeous pink saree, which Shekhar notes in his Harriet the Spy notebook. Of course he decides to buy it for her, because he LOWWES her y'all.
Raadha runs into Shekhar again, at the country club, and sort of barks at him to play badminton with her. He of course beats her, which normally I'd be annoyed at the guy beating the girl thing, but she's such a brat in this that you actually enjoy her defeat.
Oh Shekhar, you are so BA. You can play badminton! Raadha certainly thinks so, because in the process of being pwned, she falls for him! Soon after, Shekhar is heading home after picking up Seeta's sari and Raadha drives by in her red roadster and offers him a ride. Unfortunately the sari package falls down in the car during the ride, and he gets all of his items except for the sari when leaving. Oh noooooeeees!
During the ride Shekhar starts waxing poetic about how he didn't expect to meet someone "speshul" in a new city so quickly, and Raadha assumes he's talking about her, so she's all in lowwwe. She goes home and runs up to stare at herself in the mirror, because that's what one does when one is in love (although if you watch the 1993 travesty Sahibaan, you will learn that you clean your house in the middle of the night when you are in love). Note: Raadha's hair has spontaneously grown to waist-length because of her LOWWE.
So of course after Radha gets home one of her house-elves finds the package in the car and gives it to her. She opens it up and finds the most EPIC LOVE NOTE OF ALL TIME.
I'm surprised he didn't dot his i's with hearts like Ken from Toy Story 3.
Shekhar calls to find his missing package (heh heh, you see what I did tharrr?), and Raadha starts saying how nice his choice is. Oops. Shekhar starts to tell her that it's a mistake, but gets called away by work stuff. Oh cruel fate.
So Shekhar buys Seeta another sari, and guess what happens next?
Irony!!! So they reveal to each other that the sari was a "gift of love" and are indignant with each other for not telling them sooner. For some reason they decide not to wear the gorgeous matching saris for their "college program" that evening, and wear these total 70s saris instead.
The clever eye will note that the psychadelic background during their performance appears to be the SAME one in Dharmendra's dream bedroom in the title song from Dream Girl!!! Will wonders never cease?
So both girls try to meet up with Shekhar after the show, but alas, he is called away by work! Seeta's all pissed and uses the hanging up laundry in his face move to show his displeasure, because she's passive-agressive you see. Not so perfect anymore! (the real joy in this scene is seeing how the "terrace background with the sky" is actually painted on to a wall, as evidenced by a visible corner!):
A few more missed opportunities for the friends to figure out what's going on happen, and I'm starting to sing The Boy is Mine in my head. Shekhar's dad comes to visit and he and Raadha's dad are big-time buddies. Raadha's dad Dilton Doiley brings Shekhar's dad home, and Raadha gets all excited being domestic for show:
I've tried this tactic, it doesn't work.
I must mention that Raadha's love does wonders for her hair follicles, because now her hair is down to her butt.
So it's Raadha's birthday now, and she's having her Super Sweet 16 birthday party and tells Seeta that "HE" is coming. Flash to the party, and Seeta's not there (some best friend! Harrumph.) but Shekhar arrives with a red rose bouquet (nice Shekhar, with the mixed signals). Raadha goes to give him one, and he tries to protest, so she asks him "Don't you like flowers?" and he flashes back to Seeta saying "Koun hai aisa jise phoolon se, geeton se, panchiyon se pyar na ho?" and then he's in some zombie dream state and channels Yesudas to sing the only song from this movie that can really be considered a hit:
It turns out Seeta missed the party because she rushed off to the hospital with Aiyayo, who turns out to be preggers. Ok, that's nice and all Seeta, but um, she is just your neighbor and your mom is there with her. Raadha is your BEST FRIEND WHOSE LOVE YOU ARE ABOUT TO STEAL. She comes late and Raadha tells her all about how he sang the song of emo love to her. Jeez girls, don't you ask the freakin' name of the guy your best friend is in luuurve with? Note: Raadha's lowwwe not only makes her hair grow, it makes her wear saris instead of those goofy frocks she was wearing previously.
So Raadha's family has figured out between the hair and the saris that she's in love, so her dad decides to talk to Shekhar about hooking them up. Oddly, before the talk, Mr. Saxena's in his office admiring a ring in a box. Perhaps he is also dreaming about marrying Shekhar? Anyway, Shekhar has to finally admit to Mr. Saxena that he loves someone else and can't marry Raadha. Mr. Saxena is horrified and goes home all sad and disappointed. When he tells Raadha, she gets MAD.
She goes flying off to Shekhar's office to tell him off for leading her on, and delivers one of my favorite lines EVER: "Kyun Likhata ... with love from Shekhar?"
There are lots of close ups on people's eyes from here on out:
She's SAD and ANGRY. I would be too if someone did that to my eyebrows.
So she goes to Seeta's to share her woes, but Seeta's all "Screw you, my man's coming over! Come worship him with me!"
Seeta thinks it will be so funny if Raadha answers the door when "He" (as they continue to refer to these dudes) comes, so she does and Ravindra Jain starts singing to narrate what's happening.
So Raadha and Shekhar pretend to be meeting for the first time. Seeta insists that Raadha comes out with them, and Raadha being a glutton for punishment, decides to further humiliate herself by going along. We then get the Pathos version of the Man Meet song - which is a lot of Raadha walking around angsting and looking at herself in mirrors.
The best part is when somehow from at least a few feet away she manages to project her tears onto one of the mirrors for this fabulously emo shot:
BTW I love pathos versions of songs. The best one ever was the sad version of Tirchi Topiwale. I seriously thought it was so beautiful. Then my sisters and I started coming up with our own, like "Eena Meena Deeka" with sad violins, and "Mera Naam Tha Chin Chin Choo". Ok I know, we're weird.
Unfortunately the rest of the movie is a lot of angst and song narration, as Raadha asks Shekhar to never tell Seeta that he was the "HE" she was telling her about:
And because Raadha is such a
So the wedding is all fabulous and fancy, and Raadha stands around a lot looking sad and teary, and I guess you're supposed to feel sorry for her and think what an amazing martyr she is, but I'm just thinking, Girl, He's Just Not That Into You. Get over it.
I really, honestly have no idea why we loved this movie so much. There is absolutely no content here. But I suppose when you are 4 or 5 years old, you can't imagine a tragedy greater than falling in love with the same guy as your nerdy, middle-class best friend and then LOSING him to her. And at that age I used to mistake pounds of make-up for beauty and thought OMG Raadha is so much prettier, why does he like Seeta? See, I didn't realize that good looks (though we are speaking relatively here) are no match for the powers of a submissive, docile, domestic girl in a sari who prays to a Tulsi plant. Men are still chauvinistic jerks that like these kind of girls because it makes them feel manly to have to care for a fragile, sweet girl. Maybe Raadha wouldn't have lost Shekhar if she hadn't let him see her without her butt-length wig. And in the frocks!
But seriously, I don't know if one can have a more shameful favorite movie than this crap from the back of the Rajshri vault. And yet, I could watch it again right now. If for nothing else, then for the pretty pink sari, which after all these years I am still searching for. Let me know if you find it, because I WANT it. I might even write myself a note, "With love from Shekhar."
Monday, July 5, 2010
Shameful Classics Week: My (shameful) Filmi Crushes Past & Present
Thanks to the lovely Rum of Roti Kapada aur Rum, we are embarking on Shameful Classics Week 2010! A time to celebrate the DVDs we hide in the back of our shelves, behind the more popular Yash Raj & KJo films, so people don't judge us based on an irrational love of Reeta Bhadhuri or Govinda.
I have a couple of Shameful Classics in mind and am working on posts to share these movies and my memories of them with y'all, but to begin with, I thought I would share with you my Shameful Bollywood & Tollywood Crushes, Past and Present.
Yes I grew up watching these films, and as a result, grew up with ridiculous expectations of what the love of my life would be like, how he would treat me, and most significantly, how he would dream about me (because what red-blooded male really dreams about his significant other running around trees wearing baby pink-confection-type ballgowns?). Much like the thousands of pre-teens today running around in love with an emo-sparkly-vegetarian-vampire, I developed a really MESSED UP sense of what love is, what attraction is, and what romance is. Seriously. I mean a lot of these movie heroes die-hard pursuit of the heroine could get them a restraining order (Shah Rukh Khan, I'm looking at you, stalker boy). I sincerely believed in the hindi movie romance, and thought that was what my life was going to be.
And (le sigh) I fell head over heels in love with the heroes. Some of these dudes were worthwhile crushes, and some, well, let's just say that love is blind. It certainly must be in Kajol's case.
So here are my Shameful Filmi Crushes, Past & Present:
1. Rishi Kapoor
See, even he's confused as to why I am so in "LOWWE" with him. He is definitely my first ever filmi crush - I remember finding him cute even at the age of 4 or 5. I won't say my crush started with Bobby, but more around the time of Hum Kisise Kum Nahin. Plus he totally stole my heart with his heart-felt Qawaalis in Amar Akbar Anthony and Zamane Ko Dikhana Hai. What do I love about him? That SMILE. ADORABLENESS. It's just so innocent and sweet. Not to mention he is KING of the light-up disco dance floor. Yes I know as time went on he became Patron Saint of the Bulky Sweater, but he will always have a piece of my heart, especially when I think of him in ballads like "Saagar Jaise Ankhonwali" ... sigh!
2. Sachin Pilgaonkar
My second ever filmi crush is a former Marathi star and an actor that I feel like should have been a much bigger star than he was. Obviously, I was bowled over by him when he played GOD in the Rajshri film Gopaal Krishna - and played the title role with incredible boyish charm. However he also was well-received in films like Geet Gaata Chal and Ankhiyon Ke Jharonkon Se. The film *I* fell for him in was my favorite hindi film ever, Satte Pe Satta. Sachin played the youngest and most loveable brother, Shani aka Sunny. He was sweet, sensitive and expressive - not to mention a talented dancer. I think he WAS handsome, in a conventional way I think, maybe in a slightly girly way though. More over, he was a VERY talented actor. He deserved more love from the masses, but I guess he had a very successful career in television and has directed a number of films. I will always be a fan!
3. Kamal Hassan
Ok, this one I have NO shame in because I wholly admit my massive crush on Kamal Hassan is limited to the man he was in the 80s and is completely centered on the fact that the man can DANCE. And not just boogie. I mean he can kick-a$$ at CLASSICAL DANCE and THAT is amazing. But if you see him in dance numbers like "Nada Vinodamu" from Sagara Sangamam and "Oh Babua" from Sadma (woot! Silk Smitha!)(I admit, it's a super weird video), you will what I mean - he's graceful, but in an extremely masculine way. I think the South Indian in me allows me to overlook the bushy mustache (in fact, I prefer him with the mustache). He is also one of the most talented actors in the industry EVER, and routinely has reduced me to BAWLING in movies like Saagar and Sadma. Yes I'm a bit disturbed by his serial marrying/dating of various co-stars, and movies like Hey Ram made me seriously question his sanity, but I will always admire his talent.
4. Amitabh Bachchan
Ok, I think everyone who watched hindi films growing up in the 80s had some sort of crush on Amitabh at some point, and it IS somewhat shameful in my case as he is old enough to be my father. I have to say for the most part I don't find Amitabh Bachchan to be physically attractive or find him "hot" - but there have been moments. Most notably, the song "Dilbar Mere" from Satte Pe Satta (fave movie, again!) - there's something incredibly intense and romantic about him in this scene. I totally wanted him to stalk me like that. The other song that gets to me is (in my opinion) his most ultimate romantic song EVER - "Jidhar Dekhoon" from Mahaan (I beyond love this movie). I've always more thought of him as the slightly awkward yet endearing Uncle-type, but sometimes intensity and charisma can replace actual good-looks and make someone attractive, and Amitabh most certainly has those qualities.
5. Anil Kapoor
I always LIKED Anil Kapoor - he generally seems like a nice, jolly sort of guy with a great smile. He acts very well, especially in innocent roles like in Woh Saat Din and Kishen Kanhaiya, and dances really well too (i.e. Raam Lakhan). He was amazingly funny and powerful in Mr. India. But there were a few movies, and songs in particular, in which I kinda felt the chik chik for him. The first and most intense for me is a song that always gives me intense nostalgia - "Kabhi Mein Kahoon" from Lamhe. I think it was something about the slightly graying sideburns, which is a bit scary because I was 14 when I saw this movie. I must emphasize that I ONLY love him with the moustache. But I found him incredibly attractive in that song. The 2nd one is "Kuch Naa Kaho" from 1942: A Love Story. Mmmm. Would love to be Manisha in this one. He gets points for "Kismat Se Tum" from Pukar and "Ramta Jogi" from Taal too.
6. Shammi Kapoor
Shammi is possibly the most conventionally good-looking hero Hindi Cinema has ever known. He has extremely European features, which I'm not usually so into (i.e. I prefer Madhuri and Juhi's very Indian features to Aishwariya's more Western features), but it works so well on Shammi. And his songs were always fun and playful, so you couldn't help but be charmed by him. Though I also loved Shashi Kapoor, I was far more into Shammi. The songs that I TOTALLY wanted to dance with him were "Dil Tera Deewana" (title song) and "Taareef Karoon Kya" from Kashmir Ki Kali. And I'd like to chase him around and sing "O Mere Sona Re" from Teesri Manzil to him too while he makes cute indignant faces. You know, I think with those looks, Shammi could have made a Hollywood career for himself, if he wanted. He is just so dashing!
7. Jackie Shroff
Yeah, I know. I even question myself about it. But it's starting to become clear that I might have a bit of a moustache thing. I blame it on my South Indian upbringing and lots of tamil movies. But after all, Jackie is the "Hero" of Indian cinema! And I also sort of loved him as the singing portrait in "Tera Naam Liya" from Ram Lakhan (LOVE when she opens the door and he's standing in the doorframe in the suit). I don't know what it is about Jackie - something about how he has these sort of sad-looking eyes that makes me feel sorry for him? His penchant for kind cop roles? The way he often doesn't get the girl in movies? But I love seeing him dolled up in a suit in romantic numbers like "Tu Hi Meri Prem Kahani" from Pathar Ke Insaan (look at that first shot of him standing there with the rose!). Yet I don't think I admitted this slight crush to even myself until Rangeela and the amazingly steamy "Hai Rama" (though admittedly, this song has some really disturbing violent tones) - though in the SAME movie he completely threw me off by wearing speedos in "Tanha Tanha" - YIKES. Apparently Jackie's son Tiger (now 19 yr old) was featured on the cover of Men's Health magazine in India. Um, not so much. The Paramahamsa Yogananda hair is not really working.
8. Dharmendra
Of course "Gharam Dharam" had to make my list, he was so freakin' handsome they made a whole movie about Jaya Bhaduri being his fangirl. He was officially voted one of the most handsome men in the world in the mid-70s. Check him out romancing Vyjayanthimala in "Dekha Hai Teri Aankhon Mein" from Pyar Hi Pyar (1969) and with the adorable Mumtaz in "Aaj Mausam Bada Beimaan Hai" from Loafer. The fabulous Memsaab created a post about awesome Dharam songs too, so definitely check it out for high-quality handsome Dharam images. My favorites? Seeta Aur Geeta, Jugnu, Dream Girl, Sholay and Jaani Dost. I also think he's like the cutest uncle now and want to give him a big hug.
9. Govinda
I discovered through Kay from Totally Filmi's Govinda Week 2010 that I actually had a completely undetected crush on Govinda circa mid 80s all this time and I never knew it. I never realized until that blogging project that Govinda had a number of steamy, hot film songs that totally made me luuurve him, most notably "Jo Muskurahat" from Dadagiri, "Jabse Tujhe Dekha" from Pyar Karke Dekho, "Aa Bahon Mein Aa" from Mahasangraam, and "Sanam Mere Sanam" from Hum. But after a number of years Govinda stole my heart again as Taxiwallah Raju in Salaam-E-Ishq, and his performance was so sincere and powerful. He stole the show. I love a lot of things about Govinda, and think he is far more than a comedic actor, but one of the things I love BEST about him is how he makes me laugh. Humor is incredibly attractive!
10. Prabhu Deva
Ok, I totally don't care what anyone says about this dude. He can DANCE. And he can dance circles around all the Hrithiks and Shah Rukhs in the world. And that alone makes him super adorable to me. But there IS more. There's how humble he seems in interviews. There's the classic South Indian guy way that he stands with his arms folded that makes him seem respectful. There's the way he makes me laugh. And there are specific songs from movies, like "Ennavale Adi Ennavale" from Kadhalan and "Vennilave/Chanda Re" from Minsara Kanavu/Sapnay that make me totally luuurve him. And come on, have you seen the "Benny Lava" video? How can you not love him?
11. Ajith Kumar
After Kamal Hassan, it was a long time before I had another tamil movie star crush. Along came Ajith Kumar! Before he was the rough, tough action hero he is today, he was a young, handsome romantic hero in movies like Aasai, Aval Varuvala and Unnai Thedi. The pinnacle of my "lowwe" for him came in Kandukonden Kandukonden - the tamil/modern version of Sense & Sensibility starring Tabu & Aishwariya Rai. "Yenna Solla Pogirai" is a classic example of the Ajith that stole my heart! But he was super adorable in his special appearance in Unnidathil Ennai Koduthen too and I LOVE him in Vaalee (love him & Simran together!). Also his angry young man role in Amarkkalam (in which he starred with his now wife, the lovely Shalini) was too good. Also love him in Poovellam Un Vaasam with Jyothika, and was IN LOOOOWE with him in this gorgeous song "Ore Manam" from Villain, in which he co-starred with Meena and Kiran. More recently I loved the song "Kaatril Oru Vaarthai" featuring him and Asin in Varalaaru ... and oh yeah, I prefer Ajith with his full on bushy moustache. Heh heh. I had it pretty bad for Ajith. Still have a soft spot for him but miss his romantic movies.
12. Surya (Sivakumar)
Though Surya's been around for a little while, I fell for him around 2003 when Kaakha Kaakha came out - songs like "Uyirin Uyire" and "Ondra Rendra" totally made me see him in a new light! That was followed by his amazing performances in Ghajini, Sillunu Oru Kadhal, Varanam Aayiram and Ayan (LOVE "Nenje Nenje"). Surya is one of those actors that isn't conventionally good-looking, but his intensity and charisma is what draws you in. He's become one of the actors in tamil films whose performances I really look forward to! Not just because he's a sexy beast, but because he's a seriously good actor too. And a lucky dude, he married the lovely Jyothika.
13. Madhavan
I fell for Maddy in the very first film I saw him in, which was Mani Ratnam's Alaipayuthe. He's not everyone's cup of tea, but he most certainly is mine. I think he's totally adorable - he has the cuuuutest smile, is a very natural actor, and comes across as sweet and modest in interviews. Not to mention he is equally fluent in both Hindi and Tamil, which just makes me lowwe him more. My absolute favorite movie of his is Minnale (which was remade in Hindi as Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein) - check him out in the beautiful song "Vaseegara". Some of my other favorite songs of his are "Pache Nirame" from Alaipayuthe, Kannathil Muthamittal (title song), "Ichutha Ichutha" from Run, "Muthal Muthalai" from Laysa Laysa, "Muthal Muthalaga" from Aethiri and "Sudum Nilavu" from Thambi. Example of little things I love about Maddy: at the end of this song from Minnale, at about 4:39, he gets all intense and it is sooo freakin' adorable.
14. Vikram
Speaking of sexy beasts. I already did an entire post dedicated to Vikram-love, so I won't repeat myself here. You already know that I am totally having the kaadhal for Vikram. Everything about him is HOT. He is intense, passionate, strong, masculine, fiery, etc. etc. etc. You can see it oozing through the screen in songs like "Konjum Manjal" from Ullasam, "Pudichirukku" from Saamy, "Chi Chi Chi" from Majaa, and "Ragasiya Kanavugal" from Bheema . And kisses like the ones from The Notebook and Twilight ain't got NUTHIN compared to this one from Kadhal Sadugudu (how jealous am I of this chick?). Raavanan was incredible too - the whole thing was a total Vikram-fest and I for one loved it. He's like a testosterone festival. YUM.
15. Abhishek Bachchan
I've got it pretty bad for Jr. Bachchan. I am a total fangirl. I don't know what it is about him, because I know it's not the looks. Love him to death, but he's definitely not conventionally handsome. Like his dad, I think he's got that charisma that just draws you in. I can tell you exactly what made me fall in love with him. And it's this interview on Koffee with Karan with Preity Zinta. He is SO funny, and I was hooked on him the very first time I saw it (I have watched it a million times since). Love his sense of humor, love his natural ease with people, love his humility, love his unabashed admiration for his parents, love his acting (I think he is one of the most natural actors around, I don't care what anyone else says, he is a breath of fresh air every time he comes on screen), love his slightly awkward dancing, love everything. Then I saw him in this song from Kuch Na Kaho and fell MORE in love. Then I saw Bluffmaster and about fell over with love because he's so damn goofy! It doesn't matter how many dorky headbands he wears, what kind of wacko fashion choices he makes, I'm in lowwwwe. My most favorite song of his? "Bol Na Halke Halke" from Jhoom Barabar Jhoom - it's so beautiful! His costumes are totally weird, but whatevs. Abhishek, you are awkward, funny-looking, have no fashion sense and are just plain silly, but I am just mad for you. Bring it, haters.
16. Salman Khan
Ok, it's no secret that I had a HU-U-U-UGE Salman Khan crush back in the day. I totally had his pictures ALL over my walls as a teenager, and in my defense, he was a total hottie back in the early 90s. I'm not the only one that thinks so either, as evidenced by him being the only Indian actor besides Gharam Dharam to be named one of the most handsome men in the world. Yes I know there's been tons of shady stories about him and he may or may not have an, ahem, anger issue? But every so often I see a little glimpse of that charisma he had when he first started out, and my heart melts. I love when he plays shy, quiet, brooding characters like Prem (eh-hey!) in Hum Saath Saath Hai - it allows you to not have to listen to him talk or watch him jump around like an idiot but just bask in his looks. And songs like "Chandni Raat Hai" from Baaghi (1990), "Bahon Ki Darmiyan" from Khamoshi (1996) and one of my personal favorites, "Aankhon Ki Gustakhiyan" from Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam are songs where you can see how really handsome he is when he is serious and intense. It's shameful now when you look at the tragic circumstances of his hair and all the crazy stories in the news, but hey, there you have it. Shameful Classic #1 for me = Salman. I mean look at the way he's looking at me in that picture above. He lowwes me too. It's ok Sallu. Chod denge zamane ki saari khushi, saath tera kabhi bhi na chodenge hum!
So there we are, the good, the bad and the ugly (maybe in your opinion), but I lowwe them all and they are my SHAMEFUL CLASSIC LOWWES.
I have a couple of Shameful Classics in mind and am working on posts to share these movies and my memories of them with y'all, but to begin with, I thought I would share with you my Shameful Bollywood & Tollywood Crushes, Past and Present.
Yes I grew up watching these films, and as a result, grew up with ridiculous expectations of what the love of my life would be like, how he would treat me, and most significantly, how he would dream about me (because what red-blooded male really dreams about his significant other running around trees wearing baby pink-confection-type ballgowns?). Much like the thousands of pre-teens today running around in love with an emo-sparkly-vegetarian-vampire, I developed a really MESSED UP sense of what love is, what attraction is, and what romance is. Seriously. I mean a lot of these movie heroes die-hard pursuit of the heroine could get them a restraining order (Shah Rukh Khan, I'm looking at you, stalker boy). I sincerely believed in the hindi movie romance, and thought that was what my life was going to be.
And (le sigh) I fell head over heels in love with the heroes. Some of these dudes were worthwhile crushes, and some, well, let's just say that love is blind. It certainly must be in Kajol's case.
So here are my Shameful Filmi Crushes, Past & Present:
See, even he's confused as to why I am so in "LOWWE" with him. He is definitely my first ever filmi crush - I remember finding him cute even at the age of 4 or 5. I won't say my crush started with Bobby, but more around the time of Hum Kisise Kum Nahin. Plus he totally stole my heart with his heart-felt Qawaalis in Amar Akbar Anthony and Zamane Ko Dikhana Hai. What do I love about him? That SMILE. ADORABLENESS. It's just so innocent and sweet. Not to mention he is KING of the light-up disco dance floor. Yes I know as time went on he became Patron Saint of the Bulky Sweater, but he will always have a piece of my heart, especially when I think of him in ballads like "Saagar Jaise Ankhonwali" ... sigh!
My second ever filmi crush is a former Marathi star and an actor that I feel like should have been a much bigger star than he was. Obviously, I was bowled over by him when he played GOD in the Rajshri film Gopaal Krishna - and played the title role with incredible boyish charm. However he also was well-received in films like Geet Gaata Chal and Ankhiyon Ke Jharonkon Se. The film *I* fell for him in was my favorite hindi film ever, Satte Pe Satta. Sachin played the youngest and most loveable brother, Shani aka Sunny. He was sweet, sensitive and expressive - not to mention a talented dancer. I think he WAS handsome, in a conventional way I think, maybe in a slightly girly way though. More over, he was a VERY talented actor. He deserved more love from the masses, but I guess he had a very successful career in television and has directed a number of films. I will always be a fan!
Ok, this one I have NO shame in because I wholly admit my massive crush on Kamal Hassan is limited to the man he was in the 80s and is completely centered on the fact that the man can DANCE. And not just boogie. I mean he can kick-a$$ at CLASSICAL DANCE and THAT is amazing. But if you see him in dance numbers like "Nada Vinodamu" from Sagara Sangamam and "Oh Babua" from Sadma (woot! Silk Smitha!)(I admit, it's a super weird video), you will what I mean - he's graceful, but in an extremely masculine way. I think the South Indian in me allows me to overlook the bushy mustache (in fact, I prefer him with the mustache). He is also one of the most talented actors in the industry EVER, and routinely has reduced me to BAWLING in movies like Saagar and Sadma. Yes I'm a bit disturbed by his serial marrying/dating of various co-stars, and movies like Hey Ram made me seriously question his sanity, but I will always admire his talent.
Ok, I think everyone who watched hindi films growing up in the 80s had some sort of crush on Amitabh at some point, and it IS somewhat shameful in my case as he is old enough to be my father. I have to say for the most part I don't find Amitabh Bachchan to be physically attractive or find him "hot" - but there have been moments. Most notably, the song "Dilbar Mere" from Satte Pe Satta (fave movie, again!) - there's something incredibly intense and romantic about him in this scene. I totally wanted him to stalk me like that. The other song that gets to me is (in my opinion) his most ultimate romantic song EVER - "Jidhar Dekhoon" from Mahaan (I beyond love this movie). I've always more thought of him as the slightly awkward yet endearing Uncle-type, but sometimes intensity and charisma can replace actual good-looks and make someone attractive, and Amitabh most certainly has those qualities.
I always LIKED Anil Kapoor - he generally seems like a nice, jolly sort of guy with a great smile. He acts very well, especially in innocent roles like in Woh Saat Din and Kishen Kanhaiya, and dances really well too (i.e. Raam Lakhan). He was amazingly funny and powerful in Mr. India. But there were a few movies, and songs in particular, in which I kinda felt the chik chik for him. The first and most intense for me is a song that always gives me intense nostalgia - "Kabhi Mein Kahoon" from Lamhe. I think it was something about the slightly graying sideburns, which is a bit scary because I was 14 when I saw this movie. I must emphasize that I ONLY love him with the moustache. But I found him incredibly attractive in that song. The 2nd one is "Kuch Naa Kaho" from 1942: A Love Story. Mmmm. Would love to be Manisha in this one. He gets points for "Kismat Se Tum" from Pukar and "Ramta Jogi" from Taal too.
Shammi is possibly the most conventionally good-looking hero Hindi Cinema has ever known. He has extremely European features, which I'm not usually so into (i.e. I prefer Madhuri and Juhi's very Indian features to Aishwariya's more Western features), but it works so well on Shammi. And his songs were always fun and playful, so you couldn't help but be charmed by him. Though I also loved Shashi Kapoor, I was far more into Shammi. The songs that I TOTALLY wanted to dance with him were "Dil Tera Deewana" (title song) and "Taareef Karoon Kya" from Kashmir Ki Kali. And I'd like to chase him around and sing "O Mere Sona Re" from Teesri Manzil to him too while he makes cute indignant faces. You know, I think with those looks, Shammi could have made a Hollywood career for himself, if he wanted. He is just so dashing!
Yeah, I know. I even question myself about it. But it's starting to become clear that I might have a bit of a moustache thing. I blame it on my South Indian upbringing and lots of tamil movies. But after all, Jackie is the "Hero" of Indian cinema! And I also sort of loved him as the singing portrait in "Tera Naam Liya" from Ram Lakhan (LOVE when she opens the door and he's standing in the doorframe in the suit). I don't know what it is about Jackie - something about how he has these sort of sad-looking eyes that makes me feel sorry for him? His penchant for kind cop roles? The way he often doesn't get the girl in movies? But I love seeing him dolled up in a suit in romantic numbers like "Tu Hi Meri Prem Kahani" from Pathar Ke Insaan (look at that first shot of him standing there with the rose!). Yet I don't think I admitted this slight crush to even myself until Rangeela and the amazingly steamy "Hai Rama" (though admittedly, this song has some really disturbing violent tones) - though in the SAME movie he completely threw me off by wearing speedos in "Tanha Tanha" - YIKES. Apparently Jackie's son Tiger (now 19 yr old) was featured on the cover of Men's Health magazine in India. Um, not so much. The Paramahamsa Yogananda hair is not really working.
Of course "Gharam Dharam" had to make my list, he was so freakin' handsome they made a whole movie about Jaya Bhaduri being his fangirl. He was officially voted one of the most handsome men in the world in the mid-70s. Check him out romancing Vyjayanthimala in "Dekha Hai Teri Aankhon Mein" from Pyar Hi Pyar (1969) and with the adorable Mumtaz in "Aaj Mausam Bada Beimaan Hai" from Loafer. The fabulous Memsaab created a post about awesome Dharam songs too, so definitely check it out for high-quality handsome Dharam images. My favorites? Seeta Aur Geeta, Jugnu, Dream Girl, Sholay and Jaani Dost. I also think he's like the cutest uncle now and want to give him a big hug.
I discovered through Kay from Totally Filmi's Govinda Week 2010 that I actually had a completely undetected crush on Govinda circa mid 80s all this time and I never knew it. I never realized until that blogging project that Govinda had a number of steamy, hot film songs that totally made me luuurve him, most notably "Jo Muskurahat" from Dadagiri, "Jabse Tujhe Dekha" from Pyar Karke Dekho, "Aa Bahon Mein Aa" from Mahasangraam, and "Sanam Mere Sanam" from Hum. But after a number of years Govinda stole my heart again as Taxiwallah Raju in Salaam-E-Ishq, and his performance was so sincere and powerful. He stole the show. I love a lot of things about Govinda, and think he is far more than a comedic actor, but one of the things I love BEST about him is how he makes me laugh. Humor is incredibly attractive!
Ok, I totally don't care what anyone says about this dude. He can DANCE. And he can dance circles around all the Hrithiks and Shah Rukhs in the world. And that alone makes him super adorable to me. But there IS more. There's how humble he seems in interviews. There's the classic South Indian guy way that he stands with his arms folded that makes him seem respectful. There's the way he makes me laugh. And there are specific songs from movies, like "Ennavale Adi Ennavale" from Kadhalan and "Vennilave/Chanda Re" from Minsara Kanavu/Sapnay that make me totally luuurve him. And come on, have you seen the "Benny Lava" video? How can you not love him?
After Kamal Hassan, it was a long time before I had another tamil movie star crush. Along came Ajith Kumar! Before he was the rough, tough action hero he is today, he was a young, handsome romantic hero in movies like Aasai, Aval Varuvala and Unnai Thedi. The pinnacle of my "lowwe" for him came in Kandukonden Kandukonden - the tamil/modern version of Sense & Sensibility starring Tabu & Aishwariya Rai. "Yenna Solla Pogirai" is a classic example of the Ajith that stole my heart! But he was super adorable in his special appearance in Unnidathil Ennai Koduthen too and I LOVE him in Vaalee (love him & Simran together!). Also his angry young man role in Amarkkalam (in which he starred with his now wife, the lovely Shalini) was too good. Also love him in Poovellam Un Vaasam with Jyothika, and was IN LOOOOWE with him in this gorgeous song "Ore Manam" from Villain, in which he co-starred with Meena and Kiran. More recently I loved the song "Kaatril Oru Vaarthai" featuring him and Asin in Varalaaru ... and oh yeah, I prefer Ajith with his full on bushy moustache. Heh heh. I had it pretty bad for Ajith. Still have a soft spot for him but miss his romantic movies.
Though Surya's been around for a little while, I fell for him around 2003 when Kaakha Kaakha came out - songs like "Uyirin Uyire" and "Ondra Rendra" totally made me see him in a new light! That was followed by his amazing performances in Ghajini, Sillunu Oru Kadhal, Varanam Aayiram and Ayan (LOVE "Nenje Nenje"). Surya is one of those actors that isn't conventionally good-looking, but his intensity and charisma is what draws you in. He's become one of the actors in tamil films whose performances I really look forward to! Not just because he's a sexy beast, but because he's a seriously good actor too. And a lucky dude, he married the lovely Jyothika.
I fell for Maddy in the very first film I saw him in, which was Mani Ratnam's Alaipayuthe. He's not everyone's cup of tea, but he most certainly is mine. I think he's totally adorable - he has the cuuuutest smile, is a very natural actor, and comes across as sweet and modest in interviews. Not to mention he is equally fluent in both Hindi and Tamil, which just makes me lowwe him more. My absolute favorite movie of his is Minnale (which was remade in Hindi as Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein) - check him out in the beautiful song "Vaseegara". Some of my other favorite songs of his are "Pache Nirame" from Alaipayuthe, Kannathil Muthamittal (title song), "Ichutha Ichutha" from Run, "Muthal Muthalai" from Laysa Laysa, "Muthal Muthalaga" from Aethiri and "Sudum Nilavu" from Thambi. Example of little things I love about Maddy: at the end of this song from Minnale, at about 4:39, he gets all intense and it is sooo freakin' adorable.
Speaking of sexy beasts. I already did an entire post dedicated to Vikram-love, so I won't repeat myself here. You already know that I am totally having the kaadhal for Vikram. Everything about him is HOT. He is intense, passionate, strong, masculine, fiery, etc. etc. etc. You can see it oozing through the screen in songs like "Konjum Manjal" from Ullasam, "Pudichirukku" from Saamy, "Chi Chi Chi" from Majaa, and "Ragasiya Kanavugal" from Bheema . And kisses like the ones from The Notebook and Twilight ain't got NUTHIN compared to this one from Kadhal Sadugudu (how jealous am I of this chick?). Raavanan was incredible too - the whole thing was a total Vikram-fest and I for one loved it. He's like a testosterone festival. YUM.
I've got it pretty bad for Jr. Bachchan. I am a total fangirl. I don't know what it is about him, because I know it's not the looks. Love him to death, but he's definitely not conventionally handsome. Like his dad, I think he's got that charisma that just draws you in. I can tell you exactly what made me fall in love with him. And it's this interview on Koffee with Karan with Preity Zinta. He is SO funny, and I was hooked on him the very first time I saw it (I have watched it a million times since). Love his sense of humor, love his natural ease with people, love his humility, love his unabashed admiration for his parents, love his acting (I think he is one of the most natural actors around, I don't care what anyone else says, he is a breath of fresh air every time he comes on screen), love his slightly awkward dancing, love everything. Then I saw him in this song from Kuch Na Kaho and fell MORE in love. Then I saw Bluffmaster and about fell over with love because he's so damn goofy! It doesn't matter how many dorky headbands he wears, what kind of wacko fashion choices he makes, I'm in lowwwwe. My most favorite song of his? "Bol Na Halke Halke" from Jhoom Barabar Jhoom - it's so beautiful! His costumes are totally weird, but whatevs. Abhishek, you are awkward, funny-looking, have no fashion sense and are just plain silly, but I am just mad for you. Bring it, haters.
Ok, it's no secret that I had a HU-U-U-UGE Salman Khan crush back in the day. I totally had his pictures ALL over my walls as a teenager, and in my defense, he was a total hottie back in the early 90s. I'm not the only one that thinks so either, as evidenced by him being the only Indian actor besides Gharam Dharam to be named one of the most handsome men in the world. Yes I know there's been tons of shady stories about him and he may or may not have an, ahem, anger issue? But every so often I see a little glimpse of that charisma he had when he first started out, and my heart melts. I love when he plays shy, quiet, brooding characters like Prem (eh-hey!) in Hum Saath Saath Hai - it allows you to not have to listen to him talk or watch him jump around like an idiot but just bask in his looks. And songs like "Chandni Raat Hai" from Baaghi (1990), "Bahon Ki Darmiyan" from Khamoshi (1996) and one of my personal favorites, "Aankhon Ki Gustakhiyan" from Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam are songs where you can see how really handsome he is when he is serious and intense. It's shameful now when you look at the tragic circumstances of his hair and all the crazy stories in the news, but hey, there you have it. Shameful Classic #1 for me = Salman. I mean look at the way he's looking at me in that picture above. He lowwes me too. It's ok Sallu. Chod denge zamane ki saari khushi, saath tera kabhi bhi na chodenge hum!
So there we are, the good, the bad and the ugly (maybe in your opinion), but I lowwe them all and they are my SHAMEFUL CLASSIC LOWWES.
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