REVIEW: Transformers - Dark Of The Moon

Sam Witwicky: Shia LaBeouf
Carly Spencer: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
Lt. Col. William Lennox: Josh Duhamel
Dylan Gould: Patrick Dempsey
Charlotte Mearing: Frances McDormand
Seymour Simmons: John Turturro
Dutch: Alan Tudyk
Bruce Brazos: John Malkovich
Robert Epps: Tyrese Gibson
Jerry Wang: Ken Jeong
Ron Witwicky: Kevin Dunn
Judy Witwicky: Julie White
Optimus Prime: Peter Cullen (voice)
Sentinel Prime: Leonard Nimoy (voice)
Megatron: Hugo Weaving (voice)

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon is what a Transformers movie SHOULD be, and what the first 2 films should have been. My problem with the first film, it took half the movie for the Autobots to appear. My problem with the second film, everything. Michael Bay finally listened to the fans and gave us the movie we all wanted. Let me first start out by saying if you're looking for great acting, character development, fantastic plot, etc. then don't see this movie. However, if like me you grew up with the cartoons, toys & comics and wanted to see the true essence of these characters brought to life, then this is it.

"But Hammy, Michael Bay just uses explosions and mindless CGI effects! He sucks!". Let's check Michael Bays reputation: Big explosions, CGI, great shots of hot women all with some slight character development. The majority of the audience for this film is men in their late 20's to early 30's who grew up watching the cartoons, played with the toys, love women, love seeing things blow up and understand the characters and the plot. You don't need to introduce a new plot. It's already there! Decepticons are bad and want to take over the world. Autobots are the good guys and stand for justice. All you need to do is just replace how the Decepticons are going to take over the world and the location of the final fight. Mix in some fighting, big explosions and you got yourself a movie. It isn't that complicated and it quite frankly annoys me when critics and fans shit on the movies because they expected fantastic acting and character development. The first film was a great introduction to the characters for a new audience. The second film, if not for the constant sexual/racist jokes, Sam's annoying parents and the humiliation of watching Devastator be turned into a mindless Godzilla villain with those awful wrecking balls as a scrotum, should have been a good movie. This third film took every single bad thing about the first two films (not enough robot fighting, too much sexual jokes, too much human fighting, Sam's annoying parents, those stupid racist twin bots, slowed down shots of Megan Fox running just to have shots of her running in slow motion, etc.) and corrected them.

Now, the film itself. The Ark, an Autobot ship escaped Cybertron during one of the final battles that ultimately destroyed the planet. It crash landed on our Moon in 1961, therefor fueling the space race between the USA and Russia. The Apollo 11 mission was to check out the wreck, where Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin discovered the remains of Sentinel Prime and his crew. Fast forward years later, Optimus Prime and the Autobots are now helping nations from destroying themselves and starting wars. They later encounter Shockwave on one of their missions and discover the humans haven't been fully honest with them and realize that the wrecked ship on the Moon has the power to help rebuild Cyberton. That is all I'm going to say about the plot because I don't want to spoil anything for you guys.

Let's start with the bad news about this film. First, there is not enough Shockwave and Megatron action.

The trailers have you believe that Shockwave is a big villain and he's there to lead the Decepticons. Nope. The movie doesn't even explain where Shockwave came from. He's just... there. Megatron, still damaged from the previous film, is now a huge truck.

Megatron is supposed to be fearful and the leader of the Decepticons. He just isn't in this film. It almost all of the time focuses on Sentinel Prime. While that's ok and all, I just would have liked some more action from Megatron and Shockwave. You see Shockwave in maybe 3-4 scenes tops and Megatron doesn't fight at all until the very end. Shockwave also doesn't speak that much. He say's 2-3 lines, fires his gun and growls a lot. *SPOILER ALERT!* You know that large worm looking thing that eats through the building in the trailer? That's a monster controlled by Shockwave. Only spoiler I'm giving.

Second, why does Rosie Huntington Whiteley have such a major role in this film? She shouldn't have had as much screen time as she did. Also, what is the deal with her running around in heels during the final confrontation?

She does look good though...

Now let's get to the good news. First, Sam's annoying parents have hardly any screen time! I don't know about you, but I couldn't stand those characters.

Second, TONS of robot fighting and the humans assist the robots. Unlike in the previous films where it seemed like the robots assisted the humans. All of you who complained "Not enough robot fighting! FAIL!!!" will be happy. While I'm on the subject of robot fighting, I was in awe of just how much ass Optimus Prime kicks in this movie. Oh, Optimus FINALLY has his trailer that is filled with weapons, which is awesome.

Third, Sam isn't that much of a pussy as he was in the previous films. He actually grew a pair and takes charge during his confrontations with Dylan Gould, Carly's douche of a boss.

Fourth, the space bridge. Yes, they actually call it the space bridge just like in the cartoons. What the plan is for this device I won't reveal, but it is a key point in the movie.

Finally, the movie isn't filled with hot women running in slow motion just to have hot women running in slow motion. While hot women running in slow motion Baywatch style isn't bad, for a movie about fighting robots, it's not necessary. There is one blatant shot of Rosie Huntington Whiteley in nothing but her underwear in the beginning of the film. She is a Victoria's Secret model, so really, you can't complain about that.

This film is everything you can ask for in a Transformers film. I strongly suggest you check this out. As long as you go into this film expecting a movie about fighting robots and explosions and not about deep plots and deep character development, you will be fine.

SUMMARY: Transformers: Dark Of The Moon is the Transformers movie we have wanted and have been waiting for. It took the essence of the characters and eliminated all of the flaws from the previous two films. Yes, there are lots of explosions. Yes, if you're new to the Transformers story, you probably won't understand what's going on. Yes, Michael Bay is the same old Michael Bay as far as he directs the film. However, this time, it actually works. If you go into this movie expecting brilliant acting and deep character development and plot, you will be disappointed. However, if like me you grew up watching the Transformers cartoons, played with the toys and read the comics, you will absolutely love this film. If you expect to see the Transformers cartoons brought to life the way they should have been, this is the film for you. Ignore the bad things you read about this movie. This movie kicks ass. Thank you Michael Bay for finally giving me the Transformers film I've wanted for years.

RATING: 8/10

Written By: Hammy
Twitter: @BrainstuHammy