My Mind Tells Me One Thing, My Heart, Another...
I have trust issues...there, I said it. I've been burned too many times to trust easily so when I open up and trust someone, it's a big deal. I'm not saying I'm this "holier than thou" or "consider yourself lucky if I trust you" kind of person, I'm just saying when I trust you, it's a big deal to ME.
Recently, a friend with whom I've trusted with all my heart hurt me pretty badly emotionally. I had considered this person near and dear to my heart, someone who I could feel comfortable enough to tell them anything and everything that was on my mind and they would be non judgmental towards me. Without getting into details, this person pretty much broke not only my trust, but my heart as well. Do I still love and care about this person? Of course. We all make mistakes. BUT, we must also recognize and admit those mistakes in order to move forward in our relationships/friendships. Apologize for what you did, not for the hurt that was brought upon from your actions.
This friend has done just that. Apologized that I was hurt by their actions, not for doing something to me that was wrong. Refuses to accept the fact that they were wrong and out of line with what they did. I know it shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. I've been made a fool of in front of others unjustly. Would a true friend do this to someone? Friendship to me is about trust, love, respect, honesty and loyalty among many other attributes. This friend has pretty much broken all of them.
My mind tells me to distance myself and let the wounds heal, my heart tells me to forgive and move forward. Given the small amount of details above, what would you do? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please feel free to post them below.
Oh, and I almost forgot! Be sure and tune in for for Lust N Love Radio on 92X - Everything that rocks! this Saturday night at 10pm EST and as always, Monday nights at 9pm EST on EdgeFM.net - The place where talk lives!
